March 26th, 2022

Head into a new direction

t is too easy to look to the past when a problem or difficult situation arises and think a previously failed attempt to resolve the same or a similar issue might work this time. You can be confident that choosing an old path will not provide the desired outcome and instead keep you trapped in repetitive and useless problem-solving techniques. For this reason, people complain they don’t feel like they are getting ahead or their lives and are at a standstill.

In the words of motivational speaker and personal development mentor of millions, Tony Robbins is clear about changing your life when he says to his followers, “I can tell you the secret to happiness in one word: progress.” And, to think about it, what better advice can be shared? If you are at a standstill, then get up and get moving!

Before we get started, a few things need to be put into focus; first, you are not at fault for the haze blocking your view—it happens to everyone. Secondly, the last couple of years have been nothing short of hell on earth; the pain of restrictions, social isolation, and ill-health took a toll on many but will hopefully subside, and long-term solutions will be discovered. Once accomplished, we’ll reinvent, redirect, and meet our objectives head-on.

The first step in personal development is doing an inventory of self-awareness and an assessment of satisfaction. Questions regarding romantic relationships, career, family interactions, and finance are a great start. Each is an essential component for building a secure future and plays a role in influencing others.

Upon identifying and listing what makes you feel uncomfortable, it’s time to dig down and learn why they are repetitive in your identity, it’s also the time to take action.

Steps In Creating The Person You Believe In:

CONFIDENCE
Moving through life is principally about confidence, and the more you have, the better you’ll feel. People mistake shadowing or mirroring others as a solution, believing they will absorb positive personality traits through infusion. Sorry, but it’s a fool’s errand, which is the cause feelings of emptiness.

When a person’s anchor releases its hold, it leaves their buoyant persona adrift, resulting in self-doubt and insecurity.

To overcome confidence issues is to develop interpersonal attractiveness; it can be accomplished by becoming the person you want to be inside while projecting it to the world. It is about becoming the person you want others to see and respect. You will determine how you are viewed—it’s that simple.
For example, first impressions are made in minutes of meeting someone. You must demonstrate your style and level of comfort; whether you are well-dressed or casual, you must feel good and exemplify your presentation—as you believe it—regardless of what others think.

When speaking,  be assertive but kind, and a good listener. Communication skills are the keys to opening up opportunities. When established rules of good behavior are lacking, your effort to fill the void won’t go unnoticed; playing host to those you meet will get the attention you deserve and reinforce your efforts to become whole.

EXPECTATION
We all have them, and they can be disappointing. It’s a gamble about how others will react or receive you when you look outside of yourself for reward, status, or gratification.

The only person you can be assured of pleasing is in the mirror each morning. You’re aware of your gifts, responsibilities, and goals; because you have the perfect opportunity to set the agenda and influence it as you progress; satisfaction isn’t guaranteed but will become a close approximation over time.

Another issue surrounding the concept of expecting an outcome is to plan and execute a reliable strategy (both in business and personal relationships). It can be comforting to consider different scenarios that could alter a result. It is not to say you can’t predict objections or challenges, but at best, preparing for an unlikely response will allow internal satisfaction that you did all you could to persuade and invoke a favorable reaction.

OLD HABITS
How long will it be before you recognize you’re crazy? Have you been reacting the same way repeatedly but expecting a different result? Sorry, this paints you into a box; and there is nowhere left to go without changing your responses.

Shopping the same stores, traveling or vacationing at known locations, or adhering to an over-structured schedule without deviation are examples of experiences set like traps; they keep you from seeing the trees from the forest.

Humans thrive on the familiar, the predictable, but is it healthy or allow change to occur in a person’s life? And, while you know the answer, think about your evening or weekend plans; will they be a repeat of the past? Or will you dive into a new adventure?

These same social addictions play a role in how we approach problem-solving. We’ve all heard statements like, “I was born a (fill in the blank), and I’m going to die (fill in the blank).” Or, “It was good enough for (whoever), and it’s good enough for me.” Please, look at these people, learn from them; they are stuck in granite shoes, unable to make decisions, and when they do, they’re cast into exile, with little chance of living a whole life.

PROGRESS
The difference between success, repetitiveness, and feeling nothing is changing in your life has a great deal to do with taking calculated risks and seeking rewards. Each day that passes offers an opportunity that wasn’t presented previously. Those with an eye on prospecting rather than accepting the status quo can find unexpected chances of creating change in their lives.

An example of how progression can become part of your life is found within your circle of friends and acquaintances. Have they remained the same for most of your life? Does the circle close with each new introduction? It’s a known fact that a  square doesn’t fit well into an old round, but who is being cut short?

In a social society consisting of continuous movement, extending our reach and creating personal connections beyond the neighborhood has become necessary. A new generation, the result of technology, shows us the importance of connecting with others at a distance—it is so true; the world is getting smaller while offering magnificent opportunities.

Taking this same idea, it’s wise to consider where you want to be, not where you are, that is, unless you wish to remain stagnant and disappointed.

DISAPPOINTMENT & SUCCESS
Sorry, it comes with the territory; gains and setbacks are nothing new and can’t be avoided; what you can control is your reaction to them. Too often, feelings are hurt, and withdrawal overcomes the genuine emotions we should be feeling. It is okay to feel sad when you don’t win or fall short of your goal, but what should be happening is self-reflection. When you don’t meet the challenge, or disappoint someone, rather than dwell on the hurt, allow the feelings to exist and begin to deconstruct the injury. Be honest with yourself.

Getting in touch with the many emotions we possess, rather than blanket them under the category of anger, is the work necessary for growth. Better interactions result from a realistic understanding of the experience.

As for success, humility is always best. There is nothing wrong about celebrating like a rock star, in private, engulf the sensation of achievement; you deserve the emotional high. But, it is always better to attribute victories to those who also played a role in solving problems or attaining rewards or accommodations.

Remember, captains are leaders, but lacking a crew, they are alone and will not find success or admiration, no matter the effort.

Change is never easy, and it isn’t a prescription for everyone. It takes motivation, discipline, and thick skin to face one’s shortcomings and flaws. But, the satisfaction that comes from improving each day can’t be duplicated by pretending. Action, persistence, and assessment will follow your decisions until one day you realize you own these traits, and they are who you have become.

Success is one step away.